Writer’s Curse

Why is it so easy to begin writing a novel and so difficult to finish the story? I can be so inspired by a phrase or by a moment, sit down to write and the first paragraph just opens up this new world that for a moment is the only one that exists. That paragraph is the genesis to new life. It is the inspiration for my main character’s traits, looks, and backstory. It is their life, their friends, and their mission. That first paragraph is the stem cell to the rest of the novel; a collection of letters and words ready to mold and shape as they are needed. And then it ends.
As suddenly as it began, the right words cease to flow through my pen. My characters flounder in dead space, questions left unanswered, to be picked apart by my mind when I’m getting ready in the morning or driving any sort of distance. If I could pin down the exact moment I lose my inspiration I could move on to the next chapter. Even just the next paragraph sometimes. I don’t know if it’s a bottleneck of ideas, to much going through my mind to get it all down, or if it’s the other thing. The Writer’s Curse.
Have you ever been afflicted by the cringeworthy anguish of reading what your younger self had written? Having been a creative writer since I was in grade school I have experienced this phenomenon in multiple genres, including poetry, song writing, and even romantic letters. I still recoil when I think about my naïve self professing her idea of love to whoever would listen. The crippling embarrassment of reading those words, knowing they exist in the memory of someone else, is something that I cannot escape from. Is it the curse that keeps me from finishing my story? In another ten years, will I read these words and disdainfully call myself melodramatic and pretentious? Even if my words were never seen by another person, my eyes reading the pages would be too many. What is it that keeps an author laying words on paper, stacking them up like bricks, knowing that they could be wrong at the end of it all?

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